Monthly Archives: August 2015

…’I guess I keep talkin’ to myself’…

There are three police cars opposite me, and I’ve just seen a guy freak out quite a bit.  My eyes are screaming through the blurred lines, crying towards a sky that is less torn apart and towards roots that escape poisoned soils.

I throw hands into the air – the Vel is right in front of me, and we’re chanting at the top of our lungs, nobody is elsewhere in these moments.  Total presence.

I come back, and I detach from everything that is going on, carrying this feeling, understanding, and clear knowledge of a world elsewhere, of things working in absolute details rather than fine details, of where the vibrations take you and grip you tightly and physically burn through you.

And then I come back again.  And I find a lifetime of things clicking into place in the right ways and at the right times, that all led up to these moments, these times, these truths, these strengths.  Everything, it all matters, no matter how lost I felt or how much I refused……..myself.

We stare out to this endless grey sky.  It’s the same colour every day, and sometimes for weeks on end.  Sometimes the sky clears at night, and the stars shimmer a little, full of a crazy buzz that none of us can really understand.

And the crowbar is like a bullet, firing into the whole world around.  It pierces through everything.  The screams are shrill, and desolate.  They are of a world completely losing composure, as it gradually crumbles apart.

From old, to new.  Ashes to ashes, sand to sea.  The helter skelter has changed its course, and we now must climb up to the top from the bottom.  It’s hard.  But the view is so, so beautiful up there.

Like crabs, we lose our skin, yet find new shelter.  Everything passes, as everything must always for everything to always be absolutely perfect.  Perfect cannot be the same as perfect once was.

And I ride into sunsets, and sunrises, and through the rains and moons.  The engine chugs in these days, and really doesn’t seem to comprehend the idea of going slowly anymore.  But it still feels like those dreams I used to have – of having to drive a car despite never having driven one before – are so much alike what is now.

This heart won’t ever die….growing stronger, never give in.