Sunday 5th June 2016 – 23:49
I somehow feel in love again, but a most unusual feeling as it is only comparable for me to the nights in January 2012, when everything came together as a great communion of the whole universe and me.
Completely unexpectedly, I’ve been touched by the most serene divine grace, whilst hundreds of miles from the temples, and without any thought of any particular aspect of God in my mind at all. Just simply following what was going on. And God was there, like God hasn’t been there in so long, but God was so totally there, if God is the feeling of absolute beauty in all around, and ecstacy.
Now I have announced of my potential plans for leaving Skanda Vale in October, and to go and live in the Isle of Wight. Swami Prema said it sounded great, and it would be really exciting going out after living in Skanda Vale for a year.
I think a part of what happened last week, on Brading downs, was to do with a feeling of being contained for a long time, and suddenly I’d somehow wrangled out of any sense whatsoever of being contained, and absolutely relished the hour or so of really going solo and not having anyone possibly disturbing it at all, or being watched at all, or having anywhere at all where I was supposed to have been. I was just completely there, and there was something extremely beautiful going on.
Now I lie here, just past midnight, head swirling slightly but listening to this wonderful Sigur Ros music, and generally relishing being in another fantastic Lord Ganesh mahabishekam at 5am.
I leave here for Switzerland on Tuesday at 3am.
Oh, and something really strong is going on – and maybe this will jinx it – but it’s been quite a long while since my last ‘wet dream’. I take caprylic acid and saw palmetto everyday, caprylic acid as of the last 6 weeks or so and saw palmetto the last couple of weeks, both of which are supposed to help the prostate a lot. I think I’ve had an enlarged prostate for a long long time, and now things are getting very different!!