In this entry, a bumper entry muted into a brief entry but with the character and style of being a bumper entry, I will chronicle 2012 whilst outline what 2013 will show for me (based on my gut feelings on consulting different questions within myself).
2012
January was an absolute dream month. It was where I let loose, and got going with the life that I felt that I’d over-busied myself into missing out on. It was freedom-month. I had crazy personal hyper-emotional experiences about halfway through the month, which I’d say have probably changed my life forever. It was the first time that I consulted the idea of u-n-c-o-n-d-i-t-i-o-n-a-l-l-o-v-e. I had many experiences of being guided beyond belief, which opened doors in circulation throughout me. The energy from Skanda Vale was still very much fluid within me, too. I had a crazy, crazy dream regarding my work as the football mascot, which actually came to life about 3 days later at the next football match.
February was a work month, to my memory. It was crazy busy work-wise, as I had a lot of assignments due in in a ridiculous amount of time. I spent a lot of time with a lot of gotu kola to deter me from going off-track, and I followed through with it all. My hips were kneeling. Bladud was on the floor, despite it being his whole revolution. And I was mopping things up. Contact from a girl I was always told to forget…
March was when I ran the Bath Half marathon as Bladud The Pig, and did my whole body in. I decided to never cycle again shortly after this run, because my hips were wrecked. My hip changed from clicking to grating, and then to grinding. My feet were feeling their way into barefootedness. In March, also, everyone seemed to become a bit Christian in their ways due to a celebrity being on the edge of life… I gave up using a mobile phone in March. Never again, I vow. I’m pretty sure that I gave up drinking alcohol in March, too.
April spelled the end of the legacy of Bladud The Pig as we had come to know it. It was a dramatic time for me, to be standing down from the role, but one that I felt was necessary in order to allow room for progress with other ideas coming forward. I trekked over to Norfolk and back a couple of times, with the aid of the thumb, having interesting and intense journeys.
May called for an end to uni, and to living with Gill and the kids. Urban exploring happened on that extraordinary mid-May eve, with extreme heat to guide us. There was heat in a badminton match, where my friend was caught up in emotions and smashed his first of two (so far) rackets in a match with me. I moved out of Bath as Mum brought me out, after her first proper experiences of being in Bath for a few days at the end of May.
June happened. I flew out to Alicante shortly after my little sis’s birthday. I stayed on beaches for a week, somehow getting a girl who really didn’t know what she wanted to do to be okay with staying on the beaches too, because it was the only option either of us had as we were both in the city to see my brother. Towards the end of that week was the crazy fiesta time, when the hogueres de San Juan festival took off, with fireworks a-plenty, everyone throwing fire-crackers everywhere, and a huge beach party beginning at midnight on a normally quiet and secluded beach outside of town.
July was much like June. In the middle of the month, I went off somewhere. After being in Alicante with Jason for a month, staying at his new place for 3 weeks of that, I went off into the Catalan Pyrenees to the EcoDharma community. A week wondering where my friend was, when he suddenly turned up the day before my guts spilled everywhere. A welcome of the terrific kind. I did much work with moving stones, moving more stones, moving more stones, and moving land. Together, we moved mountains. The meditation baked new realms of beauty into me.
August. Still at EcoDharma until mid-August, and had some extremely magical times in these two weeks (as with the previous two weeks). Everything wicked. Last night at EcoDharma was full on energy, and healing, and love. On leaving EcoDharma with Alex, we hitched up to Brittany, via Andorra and some crazy route along the French Atlantic coast. There has not been another set of three days in my life that have been so lightly spent, as we hopped ourselves around this massive distance that we travelled. Synchronisity was a-plenty. We had a few days in Rosie’s place in Brittany, before getting back to lives in England. I back in Norfolk, saw family in Suffolk, before Sam came to stay for the last days of August. We hiked for 3 days in North Norfolk, along the coast path, taking in many realities.
September, during which I moved back into Bath right at the beginning, with help, again, from Mum. My new place felt incredible. I left shortly after to get over to Skanda Vale, where I stayed for two weeks. Two very strong weeks in terms of emotional experiential value – I arrived thinking that everything would be full of connections for me, but little was, and I ended up working on integrating meditation into everything somehow. Meditation felt so, so incredibly true to me. I was pressure-washing for most of my time there. I met a cool guy called Danny. My prayer beads were blessed. I left in incredible circumstances – on the road at 4.30pm, near Carmarthen, West Wales, and back at my house in Bath by 8pm. On getting back, the Quiet Space began at Uni, in astonishing style, with two people coming from Bristol who stormed my spirit with confidence. Thus began the Quiet Space, which was shortly followed also by the Religions & Beliefs Forum.
October was a pleasant month of getting into the new rhythms of the year. Many new people coming into life, and things just spilling over a little. Crazy emotional fixation at one point, that dispursed. ‘I’m Mad As Hell!!’ got a movement going, that is incredible now. G. Rilla, Bath’s protest gorilla, was born. I went to the Bath Buddhist Group at last, mid-month, for a talk with a monk at Hartridge. Gigs. Diving, and Alex’s incident. Mine and Chris’s routine of getting up at 5am every day for meditations capsised in October, amidst the light arising at much later times with time passing.
November/Noviembre. The month of street theatre. November 21st, outside Big Ben in London, a large group of us performed an act of civil disobedience that was received by the world. We meditated in front of a line of police, and they didn’t have a clue what was going on. We stayed through a storm. Confusion was everywhere, but we knew what we were doing, and why we were there. We were changing the world in front of our eyes. Our lenses were changing. My friend was going through hugely intense times, and affecting all around him, in many good ways as well as adverse. I went to Derby for a few days, for a conference, and also for an exploration. Fun times. We re-occupied in Bath for a weekend too, following in the footsteps of the spoof bloggist in many ways. I had my first ever long hug with myself, on full moon towards the end of November. And I met some incredible people, throughout November, that have changed things forever.
December was bigged up as being the end and maker of it all. A night perched up on Silbury Hill, to see the sun’s rise in the morning. The Love Police giving it their all, singing our hearts merry. A couple of weeks of fairly fluid uni work, writing on crazy things with crazy integrity. Tea tea tea. A wicked, wicked dance. My goodness, Mum came to Bath to go to Skanda Vale with me but we were being told not to get the train on that day, Sunday 23rd December, for everywhere was flooded. I didn’t tell her this warning, and we got the train. We got there. And Skanda flew beautifully, swifts in the warm twinkling oceanside. Skanda Vale was pumped full of everything, it was high on life. Back to Bath, Mum stayed for new year’s, back to Norfolk shortly into the new year. Fine fine fine. Oh, and in a stay at my father’s house in mid-December, I was told that another new life is on its way….!
2013
Emotionally, healing that is ongoing will continue to go on. There are still distances, vast significant ones, to be crossed, and only a few of these will be crossed throughout this year. The feeling of love will continue to rise and rise, and cultivation will be made on a deeper and more fluid level. A few things will knock me throughout the year, but I will keep steady mainly.
Academically, I am going to have a bit of a mammoth job to get everything in. April will be peaceful, but for some reason May will be a bit hardcore. I will need to make sure that I take it easy but get everything completed, to remain solid, not let it crumble now.
Physically, I can see myself in a much purer way if I get to EcoDharma later in the year. I feel like my body may be moving a lot smoother later in the year anyway. This blockage of the hip will clear sometime throughout the year. Perhaps a while being bed-ridden… I don’t see any other things coming up..
Spiritually, everything will connect more strongly upon finishing uni. I will be a free bird again, and I will utilise that freedom to delve deeper into the journey that I’ve had opening up over these years, and especially over the last year. I don’t see Skanda Vale having much importance through this year, but EcoDharma, or at least meditation in general, will be very important, as will getting myself in touch with nature.
Where I will be? It is very indefinite. Theoretically, I will finish my degree in Bath before moving on to being back home, and then eventually going over to EcoDharma. But I feel that something may halt the EcoDharma plans at least temporarily. A long-distance journey could happen, but I’m not sure where to…
Socially, I can feel that connections that have been made more recently with people will only be tied stronger throughout the months of this year, especially whilst uni stuff is still going. Though things may be more distant, and definitely different, towards the latter part of the year, there will still be the connection that will be rising through the mists.
My connections with my family will remain at the constant. I see that the new-born will bring nothing but pure long and delight to Dad, Apriliana and Jasmine – a lotion for the wounds that have come about over the last years. Maybe for Dad the health will continue with its patterns, fairly significantly. For Mum, it feels like she’ll get in another relationship around the middle of the year – it would be her first in at least a few years. She will struggle to feel lonely again, as she gets more and more stuff coming into her life. Jason – it would be telling to say what I think will happen to you! Go with it, it’s all possitive. Sickness with a close relative…
As for the worldly stuff, here goes: First thing that came to my mind was war. For some reason, it feels fairly escalated, and also I’m unsure of why North Korea came to my mind immediately too – especially when the country really doesn’t have anything to do with the ongoing wars in the world at the moment. The resistance movement in the West is pretty weak after the lack of responsiveness following the decampment of the Occupies – this will continue to linger. It is in grassroots the trust should be put, especially in times like these.
I see that the Love Police, as we have got going in Bath, will create many revolutions. As will all of the alternative activism methods that have been used so far. This grassroots stuff that we have got going in Bath will only become more and more inspired, and people will notice and listen somewhat. There will be other characters that will arise through demonstrations, as akin to G. Rilla. There may be quite a mass demonstration in Bath sometime shortly before university stops for summer…
I feel like some big spiritual leaders that my parents follow may pass on throughout this year. There will be a middle ground, which will become prominent and known.
For me, my life may bounce off in different places but I will retain what I have retained throughout.
These are just my feelings towards things, that have come to me whilst writing. I tend to do a prediction at the beginning of every year, but they’ve been written down in personal diaries in the past. I like to do them because they make me look into the future for things, and look to see what I feel may be probable over the future year. In doing so, I may be able to act on if things do happen in a much more prepared way, for I would have already foreseen some events (inevitably – it’s almost certain that at least a few of the things I’ve listed will come to life). These predictions are purely for this purpose, and are not to suggest that I have powers of predicting the future, or to suggest in any way that the things that have been listed will actually happen. It will be interesting to look back on this entry next year and see how the year has panned out against the predictions, but they are not really for this purpose. Read and weep.
Devotional breath, Embodied revolution 